Meryl's Choosing
by Aaymeirah
Summary: It's the anniversary of her brother's death. Not a happy backdrop for a Choosing. The fact that Meryl is afraid of horses doesn't help matters either. Valdemar belongs to Mercedes Lackey.


Meryl sat quietly amid the cornstalks on her family's farm. She was hiding, and she despised herself for that. But it was the anniversary of Jaclyn's death and she had to escape the aura of sadness that lingered in the air of her family's cottage. A crisp autumn breeze blew, whipping her wild red hair across the creamy, suntanned expanse of her freckled face. Meryl didn't care. She closed her eyes and remembered the start of that fateful day...

 _Jaclyn had taken Becky and Rebecca to the market, he had lost a wager against the twins and now he had to buy them new hair ribbons with the money he had earned helping out Aunt Amy and Uncle Olaf at their tavern, The Jumping Frog. Meryl had of course tagged along, she knew she was Jaclyn's favourite sister and maybe he would buy her a hair ribbon too. It was uncommon for her large family to leave the farm during harvest time, but when the mage storms came, Ma and Pa decided to move to Haven and stay with Ma's sister and her husband._

 _Pa was anxious and he had yelled at the twins just before they left that they should stop spending all their time mooning over uncle Olaf's assistant, Mitch who would one day take over the Tavern from them, and he told them to do something productive with their lives. Meryl didn't really like Mitch, so she accredited the foreboding feeling that something bad was going to happen to Mitch. Despite the worry, that was a dark pit in her gut, Meryl looked around avidly at all the wonderful things to see. This was a rather nice neighbourhood. The people who lived here were not poor, but they weren't rich either. You just didn't go out at night alone._

 _The jumping Frog Tavern and the rather large inn attached to it catered to the people who came to shop at the open air stalls that lined the road. The craftsmen who lived on the upper levels of the houses and had shops on the ground level called out their wares._

 _The Mage Storms had everyone worried; they hurried about their business, talking in tight clusters of people glancing quickly at their surroundings. Meryl wasn't worried. Her cousin Rob was an Unaffiliated student at the Collegiums. He had visited, and he talked about how the artificers had predicted where the Change Circles would come and the effects of the upcoming Mage Storms, which he had said in hushed tones that it would be the worst one yet. Meryl had listened through the crack in the door and knew from their conversation that no Change Circles were likely to come in this area._

 _Jaclyn bought Bec a blue ribbon and Beck a green ribbon. They were so pretty, Meryl sighed then her face lit up when Jaclyn had presented her with a Gray ribbon._

" _To match your eyes Merry." He had said. Using his pet name for her that no one else except Ma and Pa used. Meryl thanked him profusely and the group continued down the road, Meryl's ten year old hand tightly holding Jaclyn's rough calloused hand. After a while Jaclyn had stopped and bought something else._

" _What did you buy Jaclyn?"_

" _A present for my favourite sister." Jaclyn held triumphantly out a perfect figurine of a Companion, those amazing horses the half-Legendary Heralds rode._

" _Thank you so much Jaclyn. Thank you Thank you Thank you..."_

 _"All right little sister." He laughed, "You can stop thanking me now. I know I'm appreciated." Meryl beamed and clutched her Companion toy tightly. The foursome started out once more, it was time to head back to the inn. But then disaster struck, an out of control horse came careening down the road, pulling a flaming cart behind it. People rushed to the relative safety of the shops, but not the air-headed twins, who stood petrified, hugging each other and screaming. Right in the middle of the horse's path..._

 _The twins were screaming, screaming. Meryl looked on in horror as Jaclyn snarled,_

" _Dammit, the little idiots." He ran into the road and shoved the twins to the side of the road, out of harms' way. But Jaclyn wasn't so lucky. The horse's back hoof clipped him in the ribs. With a cry, Jaclyn crumpled to the ground. Others had restrained the horse; a bucket chain had started, trying to extinguish the fire. It blessedly started to rain. Meryl didn't care. She dashed over to cradle Jaclyn's body. He was panting, gripping Meryl's wrist in an iron group._

" _Are you okay Jaclyn? C'mon, tell me you are going to be all right. Jaclyn? Jaclyn!" Jaclyn had gone limp. A crowd of curious onlookers had gathered. Becky and Rebecca had joined the shocked Meryl. A gap opened in the crowd as a tall but plump woman in soggy Healer green came pushing through the crowd, trailed by a miserable looking man, presumably a Bard by his Scarlet clothing that you could make out under the mud._

" _I'm Healer Karenna and this is Bard Kale. We saw the horse and the fire and decided to follow it, surely, someone would have been hurt. Kale here tagged along for the story. What happened?" Demanded the Healer. It was Rebecca, who answered,_

" _An out of control horse with a flaming cart behind it came charging through, Bec and I, we were so scared, we were frozen in terror! Then our brave brother came running through and pushed us out of the way, but then the horse hit him in the chest. And now look- He's all unconscious and clingy!" Rebecca was nearing hysteria and Becky gave her a hug._

" _Well let me have a look, move aside girl."_

" _I'm not leaving him." Said Meryl firmly. The Healer muttered something under her breath about stubborn kids._

" _Very well. I'm going to go into a healing trance to find out what is wrong." Meryl simply nodded, bewildered by the afternoon's events. A few moments later Healer Karenna came out of her trance._

" _It's not good. Your brother here has a broken rib. Normally, I could fix it easily, but the rib is twisted out of position and it is millimetres away from piercing his heart. If it were not for this dammed Mage storm- but even in the best of conditions, I would not dare move the rib for fear of hitting something vital. I am sorry children, but the best I can do is blocking the pain. The rib did pierce his lung and he is slowly suffocating in his own blood. Your brother has only a few more minutes left." Meryl sat in bewildered silence; the deluge of information overwhelmed her. Meryl seized on one clear thought._

" _He is- going to die?"_

" _I'm afraid so lass, if it's any comfort, I most defiantly will write a song about this. Be sure of that." Said the Bard._

" _Shut up Kale, you aren't helping." Said the Healer. Kale stopped talking; even the crowd was silent as Jaclyn opened his eyes, clear of pain._

" _L-love you Merry. You to Rebecca and yes even you Becky. Said goodbye to Ma and Pa will you. I wouldn't want to go without saying goodbye." Wheezed Jaclyn._

" _I will tell our parents that Jaclyn. I promise."_

" _Good..." Mumbled Jaclyn. Then, still cradled in her arms, Jaclyn died._

"Meryl! Meryl! Meryl! Toby wants you now. C'mon, where are you hiding? Meryl!" Meryl was torn out of those depressing memories by the high-pitched voice of her ten-year-old brother Matt. Matt had been only 7 when Jaclyn died and he hardly remembered their oldest older brother. So he was in his usual exuberant, excitable self, if a bit subdued by the morose atmosphere created by the older members of her family who still lived on the farm.

Raising herself up, she dusted off her skirts. Her opinion was that dresses were impractical and highly overated, an opinion hardly shared by her Ma or her two eldest dsisters, but it wasn't like she could do anything about it, and Pa was too sunk into depression to even notice. Auntie Penelope, who took care of Ma with her wasting illness and constantly watched Pa to make sure he didn't kill himself or anyone else within throwing range of a bottle of beer, had taken over the raising of Meryl and Matt. She didn't do a very good job of it but Meryl hardly blamed her. Auntie Penelope had a lot on her plate. Meryl tried to help as much as she could; she had become a highly proficient cook and could clean just about anything, but times like these she just had to have a moment for herself, she was only 13, yet she felt as if it was her job to keep her family together. Just then, Matt came running up to her, panting slightly.

"You'd better come quickly, Toby's hopping mad. Crows are eating the corn and the workers can't get it in fast enough! He needs everybody's help." Matt shouted, hopping up and down.

"All right I'm coming Matt, I'm coming."

"Well come faster, Toby said he'd beat us up if we dilly-dawdled."

"Fine then... I'll race you!" Matt smiled when she said this, despite her sadness, Meryl knew she needed to enjoy her life in the present, not dwell in the past. But- Gods it was hard! Especially on days like this.

"You're on!" Matt took off running.

"Hey, you got a head start, no fair!"

"I'm younger!" he retorted. Meryl shook her head and tore after him, revelling in the feel of the wind on her face, trying to let it blow away the memories.

The siblings reached the main corn field where Toby and the hired hands were working frantically.

"Grab a basket!" Bellowed Toby from his iron lungs. One year younger than Jaclyn and as mean as he was kind, it had fallen to Toby to run the farm when Pa gave up. He controlled everyone with threats and fists. Meryl didn't entirely blame him. How she hated being able to see both sides of a problem! But, Hellfire, it hurt really badly when he was pummelling her into the dirt. Meryl grabbed a woven basket made by her mother. Weaving was the only thing left to their continually weakening mother, soon, said the healer, she wouldn't be able to do that at all. Meryl quickly started picking the golden yellow corn, peeping out from its green husk. As she picked, her mind wandered to the events after her brother's death.

Meryl remembered sympathetic onlookers who carried her brother's body to the tavern. She vaguely recalled a funeral. Meryl most defiantly remembered the stench of Jaclyn's body as it burned on the funeral pyre. She had not stopped wearing the ribbon Jaclyn bought her for a month. With time, the pain dulled and Meryl only wore the ribbon on special days. She was prepared to move on with her life, but the older ones of her family were not.

Ma and Pa sent Ava, Jimmy, and Dawn, her three younger siblings to live with Aunt Amy and Uncle Olaf. Within a year, the twins were married, one to a farmer on a neighbouring farm and another to a Blacksmith who lived in Haven. 6 months later, Bard Kale showed up, he had been travelling out of Haven and saw Meryl. He said he remembered her fiery red hair from that day when Jaclyn died. Bard Kale stayed for lunch and sung the song he had written about Jaclyn. Meryl thought it was a wonderfull song. Brae, her older sister by 10 months hesitantly asked if she could play a song for the Bard. Brae wanted to become a Bard, badly. So she was overjoyed when Bard Kale said, she had a very strong Bardic gift. Within a week, Brae was enrolled in the Bardic Collegium. That left Meryl, Matt, and Toby as the only remaining kids on the farm. Pa started drinking and Ma got a wasting illness. That was when Auntie Penelope came, announced she was here to help, and promptly settled herself in as an almost surrogate mother and caretaker. Things started to go downhill from there.

Meryl tried her very best to keep her family together. But she was only 13 and she was additionally hampered by a phobia of horses she had developed, a few months after Jaclynn's death. The fear started a month after Jaclyn's death, when she lost the toy Companion Jaclyn had bought her.

The situation had gotten so bad that Toby had taken their plow horse and sold it to a passing merchant. With the money from that Toby planned to but a mule or maybe an ox, but Pa took the money and used it to buy himself more drink. When Pa wanted something, you gave it to him, or suffer the consequences. Toby blamed her for that incident. She blamed herself as well.

It was late when all the corn was harvested, the family, what remained of it, settled at trestle tables set in the open air to eat dinner, cooked by Auntie Penelope. Meryl quickly shovelled her bread, dripping with soup into her mouth so she could eat one of Auntie Penelope's delicious pocket pies. There was tension in the air, everyone seemed affected. Except for Matt who chartered on unceasingly in his cheerful way. Suddenly, Meryl felt that familiar foreboding in her gut. It was not entirely unpleasant. It spoke of big changes coming. Moreover, potential violence was a very real possibility. Meryl chalked this one up to her worry about Pa going into a rage, but Meryl still felt sick.

"Excuse me." Said Meryl. Everyone stared at her. "I'm not feeling too well. I think I need to lie down."

"Are you sick honey?" Demanded Auntie Penelope.

"No- just tired, this day especially is weighing down on me. I think I need to go lie down. All right Pa?" Pa grunted. Meryl took that as an affirmative and headed in the direction of the cottage. But as soon as she was out of sight, Meryl turned towards the willow tree that grew on the edge of their property. A perfect climbing tree and her secret refuge. Meryl needed some time to clear her head. She parked herself in a wide branch that split halfway through, leaving a perfect seat. She closed her eyes. Almost against her will she started to fall asleep...

When Meryl opened her eyes it seemed as if she had been asleep for hours, but really, it had only been about half a candlemark. She heard an odd chiming sound. Like bells or...hooves. Looking at the road, she saw a white horse trotting briskly on the road towards her farm. No rider, but all decked out in barding and bells. Meryl knew this to be a Companion on search. They passed by this road all the time. Meryl quickly scrambled farther into the tree so the Companion wouldn't see her. Everyone said that the Herald's Companions weren't horses, that they had the same intelligence as humans. But Meryl didn't buy it. They were still horses and horses were not to be trusted.

To her horror, the Companion stopped right in front of her tree. Surely the crazy horse wouldn't chose her, but the Companion came up to the tree and stuck it's head through the lower branches. Meryl found herself looking down into a pair of bluest blue eyes. In her head she heard a strange voice.

:I choose you Meryl Sarlinn. My name is Kylira. Inside of her, Meryl felt a sense of completion, like she had found the other half of herself, only she hadn't known she was missing it. This was a good thing, she would become a Herald. Right? But she couldn't ignore that this was a horse. And a horse killed her beloved brother. Meryl didn't want this.

:No, choose someone else Kylira. Meryl said in that strange mind voice. Meryl sensed confusion and bewilderment from Kylira. But Meryl didn't dwell on it as she hopped down from the tree and started running towards her family. Behind her, she knew that Kylira was chasing her. But Meryl didn't care. She was a very fast runner, but she coundn't hope to keep pace with a horse, much less a Companion, so she got the sense that Kylira was trotting behind her slowly, as if waiting to see what she would do next. Soon the tables came into sight. Confused, her family all looked at her as she came running into their line of sight with a Companion hot on her heels.

"She- she chose me! And I don't want to be chosen by a horse!' Cried Meryl. She stopped, hands on her knees, panting. Behind her, Kylira pawed the ground anxiously. Toby, the only one thinking clearly it seemed, took a swig from the ever-present flask of ale stolen from Pa and stood up.

"This dumb beast botherin' you Meryl?" Slurred the inebriated Toby.

"I can fix that for you." Toby reached for his belt knife and unsheathed it. Meryl seemed to be in a daze, was this really happening? Toby attacking a Companion? Meryl glanced at those gleaming silvery hooves. Toby didn't stand a chance. Even a sober Toby didn't stand a chance. Meryl took a deep breath. She knew what she had to do despite her fear.

"Toby- stop!" Meryl had started to explain the situation when he lunged at Kylira. Without thinking, Meryl launched herself between Toby and the rearing Kylira. Just as she had thought, the two had stopped, neither wanting to hurt her. Toby backed off, murder in his eyes. Meryl stared at Toby and the rest of her family with a furious gaze.

"Kylira is my Companion and no one hurts her!" Proclaimed Meryl, hands on her hips. Matt, who had been watching the proceedings in silence, spoke.

"But Meryl. You're afraid of horses." Meryl closed her eyes.

"Well yes, but just because I'm afraid of them doesn't mean I think they should be killed, or that anyone should come to harm because of them." Said Meryl quietly.

"Besides," grinned Meryl "she's not really a horse. It may take me a while to get over my fear of horses, but I think I can live with Kylira." Her family and the helpers from neighbouring farms starred at her in various stages of incredulity.

"So, I suppose that means you will be going to the Herald's Collegium?" Demanded Auntie Penelope.

:Of course. Said Kylira.

"Kylira, says that of course I'll be going."

:If you can stand me that is... Kylira qualified, laughter tinging her mind voice. Meryl smiled.

:I can stand you, maybe not others, but I think I'll get used to you. Retorted Meryl.

Toby was still standing, although he had sheathed his knife. He marched right up to Kylira, as if he hadn't just threatened to harm her.

"Now look here horse lady. You can't go taking Meryl, we need her help on the farm" He growled.

:Chosen, tell the angry man that every trainee's family gets money from Haven in compensation for the help their family is deprived of.

"Toby, Kylira says that our family gets paid a compensation for the loss of my help." Toby seemed mollified.

"Well, have a nice life then, bye." Toby said abruptly as he sat back down and turning his back on her. Meryl laughed to herself. She was anxious to get on the road, but the goodbyes from her family took a quarter candlemark at the least. Even Pa gave her a stiff hug.

"You'll still visit. Right big sister?" Demanded Matt.

"Of course Matt, I'll visit as often as I'm able to."

"Okay. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too Matt." Leaning closer to whisper so only Matt could hear Meryl said

"You're my favourite brother." The two siblings shared a smile.

Ma then spoke, "Jaclyn would have been so proud of you Meryl. Good luck."

Meryl smiled. "Thanks Ma."

Then Meryl, Valdemar's newest Herald-Trainee mounted Kylira with some difficulty and no little help from her. The two headed off into the setting sun, not caring they would be riding through the night,on the road to Haven, then the Collegium and Meryl's new life training to be a Herald.

It was the happiest and the saddest day of her life.


End file.
